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Negative Body Image Issues Triggering Trichotillomania and PPD

June 1, 2021 By: Lesley

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been very insecure about my body, since childhood.

These thoughts literally consume me 24/7 during my postpartum period.

If you’ve ever suffered from eating disorders and negative body image issues and then had a baby, you know what I mean.

Postpartum depression is almost unavoidable when you suffer from a negative body image.

It’s amplified 100 BILLION TIMES after having a baby.

All these negative thoughts are a major trigger for my hair pulling.

I will sit there at war with myself and start pulling out my hair without even feeling it or noticing what I’m doing.

There’s this non-audible voice in my head constantly attacking me, there isn’t a moment of peace throughout the day.

I can’t eat anything without calculating whether it will make me fatter or not.

I think the hardest time of the day for me is when I get out of the shower.

Not only am I faced with myself naked but I also have to dress myself.

I’m in this awkward stage where I either have to wear maternity clothes or squeeze really hard into my old clothes – the thought of both make me depressed.

Why do I attack myself so much? I wish I could tell you why I did this. I ask myself ALL THE TIME – “why are you doing this to yourself?!”

One negative thought after another until I beat myself down into a sad child sitting in the corner sucking her thumb and pulling out her hair.

It’s really disgusting how I treat myself because I would never say to anyone the things I say to myself.

I really feel like I have mentally spiraled out of control since having the baby.

There were 4 deaths in the family within 7 weeks of the birth.

Sleep deprivation definitely plays it’s part too.

I have been going non-stop since the baby was born and there’s been no time for self-care.

I feel fat. I feel ugly. I feel so unworthy of any love at all.

I thank God I at least realize when I’m getting too deep in my own darkness.

I have to go back to the basics, bust out my toolkit and give this battle CONTINUALLY to the Lord.

I am so sick and tired of attacking myself mentally and physically.

Negative thoughts are leading me to negative habits and I really want to stop it.

It’s crazy how easy it is to fall back into bad habits.

When I was pregnant I told myself, “I’m not going to be depressed this time, I’m not!”

And here we are.

I need to arm myself better than I have.

Physically and mentally.

  • I’ve got some new Keen2 bracelets coming soon (thank you Aneela).
  • I’m reading good positive books and going to social media less.
  • I’m taking small walks with the baby to get fresh air.
  • I’m getting consistent with my vitamins and supplements.
  • I’m trying to get more sleep.
  • I’m trying not to obsess over every bite of food I take.

I really don’t want to hate myself anymore.

I want to finally accept myself for who I am and what I look like.

You Might Also Like:

Hair-Pulling As a Coping Mechanism for Dealing with Death
Healing From A Freak Accident
The Connection Between Trichotillomania and Anxiety - Cause or Trigger?
Maybe I Got Gum in My Hair? and Other Lies Trichs Tell the Hair Dresser
I Pull My Hair Out When Stressed - Thanks to an 85 Year Old Bully (Sorry Not Sorry)
Falling In Love With Someone Who Has an Anxiety Disorder Like Me
Does PMS Make Hair Pulling Worse? Increased Urges Before Period.
Dealing with Divorce and Trichotillomania

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  • I need to arm myself better than I have.
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I am not a medical professional, just a blogger.

Disclosure:  I am not a doctor, health professional or your mother.  I am a blogger who talks about her experiences with a hair-pulling disorder and the things that have helped me try to overcome it.   None of the methods or products talked about are intended to cure anything.  None of the methods or products are intended to replace your medications or treatments.   You must take responsibility for your own health and actions and nothing here is meant to treat or diagnose anyone or anything.  I am just a blogger, if you have questions about your physical or mental health, it’s best to seek professional help.

Trichotillomania Products

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About Lesley

My name is Lesley and I have been battling a hair pulling disorder my entire life.  I'm Jesus obsessed and I'm currently writing through my journey here on this blog.  I hold an Associate in Theology and I've written a faith-based trichotillomania therapy journal for people with this hair pulling disoder.  You can read a lot more about me on the home page and I have a private group on Facebook where you can find other like-minded people who understand what it's like to have trich.

Hi I’m Lesley!

 

Trichotillomania Blogger

Trichotillomania Blogger. Naturally-Minded.  Jesus Obsessed. Empath.

I’m not everyone’s cup of tea. There’s going to be typos, sarcasm and lots of emotional rants I’m sure… try not to judge me based on the chapter of my life that you walk in on. 

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Hi. This is Lesley. This is my blog.  I have a faith-based Facebook group if you would like some encouragement and support overcoming Trichotillomania.  Be sure to grab my FREE printables! 

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