This has been such a stressful and eventful year I can’t even begin to break it all down for you but I’m going to try and recap it a bit here so I can get you caught up …
The divorce and the selling/buying of a home were huge events in my life. The stress of having to deal with all that was absolutely unreal.
Never in my life have I had to put on my big girl panties like I did through all that, but I got through… and I’m in a lovely home with my boys and… NOW…my NEW HUSBAND.
What?! New Husband!
No seriously, my life has taken some major turns here in 2020.
Divorced and remarried with a new house and … let’s get to the new husband shall we?
Right smack in the middle of my drama last year I was spending a lot of time with a man named Sherman that I had met while working part-time.
He was easy to talk to at first and we had a lot of things in common. The friendship blossomed and the romance just sort of happened and took off fast.
I didn’t really “plan” on meeting anyone or dating anyone but he swept me off my feet in a matter of months.
I feel like I could sit here and list off a million of the qualities that I love about him because he’s that special to me.
I’ve never in my life felt so connected with anyone. We have so much fun together and my 3 boys absolutely love him to pieces.
He’s funny, kind, romantic, affectionate, easy to talk to, and we have a lot of the same likes, interests, and we both struggle with BFRB’s.
Having Someone To Understand My BFRB’s
For years I have struggled with BFRB’s like hair-pulling, skin-picking, nail-biting, and thumbsucking. It’s not really something I ever talk about with people on the outside of the trich communities – but he’s special.
He has struggled with a skin-biting habit since he was a teenager. It’s so bad that he bites the inside of lips raw and has to constantly apply ointment to them.
I’ve often wondered if there’s anything out there to help him? Maybe some sort of habit awareness device similar to my Keen bracelets, but for his lip?
He’s the only person who really knows and relates to my struggles with an anxiety disorder because he has one too.
Not everyone has been super supportive of the fact that we fell in love and got married so fast, but I really don’t care, this isn’t their life it’s mine.
I have never in my life been so infatuated with a man. He leans on the Lord with all his heart and he supports me emotionally and spiritually like no one else.
I’ve never had a bond with someone like this.
If he sees me pulling at my hair unconsciously, he gently stops me and puts my hand on his head instead.
And when I see him biting at his lips, I will gently put my fingers there to stop him.
That’s the kind of love I’ve always wanted.
I love that I have someone like him to love me and support me through my anxiety issues.
Regardless of how fast it happened, I believe this man is heaven-sent. I can’t even imagine my life without him.
If I could make a list of the qualities that I wanted in a man, he checks off everything on that list.
He proposed to me SUPER FAST and of course I said yes!
We wanted to plan this big, amazing wedding but COVID sort of smashed those plans.
We didn’t want to wait a year to get married so we decided to run off and elope and have a wedding reception next year when all this is sicky-poo-poo nonsense is hopefully over.
I just couldn’t imagine waiting and waiting to marry this man. We wanted to begin building a life together right away because we both feel like we’ve wasted so much of our lives with the wrong people.
My parents and my best friends have been absolutely amazing and supportive of my whole journey this past year and I’m so grateful to the Lord for the grace I have been shown in all this.
My mom, who is not the easiest person to win over, absolutely loves Sherman. She knows he takes good care of me and she’s told me on more than one occasion that she has never seen me so happy.
I was so miserable for the last 18 years and I finally feel a huge sense of love and life flowing through me.
I feel like I can just be myself with someone.
I do what I can to be the best ex-wife I can be because I love my kids and a big part of me will always love their dad but I have never in my life loved anyone the way I love Sherman and no one has ever truly loved me the way that he does.
The changes in my life keep happening but they have all been for the better and I can see that now looking back at 2020.
The Lord is so so good and His love, grace and mercy endures forever.